I Won’t Explain

When you don’t know where to turn
When left seems like a stretch and right seems unrealistic
When the sky seems too far but the ground is nowhere to be found
When only you can hear how loud your heart beat is
And only you can feel the strain it’s causing
When the world seems to be spinning at such a speed
And you can’t seem to make it stop
When control is something you lack and fear is a fact
When it hurts to smile, but makes you happy to cry
When it hurts to hold on, so you let go for a while
When the colors you see seem to fade every other day
Leaving you to see black and white, and maybe a bit of grey
When you walk around with your head to the heavens
But only because you want them to explain
You want them to see the pain
When you can’t help but enjoy the rain
When all you can do is dance in the storm
Because you know it will never be over, it’ll only grow
And when the sun shines for just that split second
You hide out in your room wishing it would disappear
Wishing it would stop outlining your worries and drying up your tears
When like a stone, you feel cold and strong
Yet the sun makes you weak and like you don’t belong
When you want to curse away at anything in your path
When your wrath, has taken over
When you enshroud all your feelings into one main one
And nothing they say or do will ever make you enjoy the sun
When you can’t enjoy the light and all you want is to close your curtains
When you don’t know the meaning of your own feelings
As you block out the rest of the world
Only intact with the inside of your mind
You’re soul slowly deteriorating in time
You can’t help it…nothing feels right
Nothing feels wrong…nothing feels
You can’t feel anything but confusion and distrust
No one can be trusted but you put half your trust into everyone
Playing mind games and picking out winners and losers
Those worthy of a piece of the trust walking out victorious
They don’t know it but you know it
Only because you feel like it will never be real
When all you can do is give a piece
Never the whole thing because the sun is also not to be trusted
Feeling exposed and vulnerable you wait for the rainy days
Another lost soul…you can’t help but feel astray
That’s how I’ve been feeling all day
But I won’t explain…

 

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